June 2, 2010

My non-existant gyaru lifestyle

After reading certain forums on different websites over the past month or so, I've come to realize that being a gyaru in this country, especially my city, is pretty tough. It's even more tough if you tend to be self-conscious and don't have any support within your group of friends for this new style you'd like to partake in. Don't get me wrong, I definitely expected that this would be one of the main problems I would come to encounter throughout all of this but I didn't realize how hard it actually is when I am sitting there debating with myself whether or not I should pull off my false lashes and face probably getting teased, or not and end up not looking "gyaru enough" when I know I damn well need the practice. I know I'm not the only person out there who is in my shoes.

When I see gals who aren't from Japan, being a more open minded country in some aspects, I wonder what they go through mentally when they head outside of the comforts of their homes dressed the way they are dressed. I'm sure they have an everlasting amount of confidence that helps them go through with it that I so desperately wish I could have but if only I knew some sort of secret or tip on how to just do me without worry about everyone around me :/

Usually before I consider wearing a gyaru look, I ask myself, what will society think of this or that? And after taking away everything from my outfits that might make someone stare or comment, I end up with a typically cute outfit T___T In my eyes, everything will look good "gyaru wise" but to many others I'm sure they'll point and laugh, make smartass remarks, and ultimately cause my self-esteem to plummet which will definitely make me never want to go out in public dressed in such a way again! It's also why I haven't tried to get on everyday_gyaru on lj because I know if I ever hear that I'm on gyaru secrets and get bashed xcore like some of the ppl do on there, that would be one of the very rare times I would actually take offense to what some stranger over the internet had to say about me. I so much fear that happening so that I don't even attempt to take that risk. Call me a coward all you want, but this is more of a long term battle I've had with myself ever since I was in kindergarten. Being brutally judged and criticized is and has always been unbearably painful for me. After years of research on different styles I've finally found one that appeals to me the strongest and yet I can't even come to wear it because I'm too afraid of what people will think. Pretty pathetic, huh? Well that's the absolute truth. I don't claim to be gyaru and although I'm hoping one day I will, there's still a great possibility that it might not ever happen for me. I guess I just gotta keep on truckin'.

12 comments :

  1. I do think that it's easier when you have a group of friends or someone supporting you or shares the same intrest. Other than that it's hard and people are really harsh. They see soemthing different and they turn into a pack of animals. I remember when my godsister and I were in Manhattan early this May and we saw 3 girls dressed head to toe in Lolita and himegyaru. Wings, nails, dresses, petticoats, make up and all. One girl was asian in a platnuim blond, one was black in a red wig and one was white in a blue wig. Their arms were linked and they had such confidence that everyone stopped and stared to go, "wow, you guys look amazing", not "you look like freaks." I think the confidence you exhibit will make people either love it or hate it. Me too, I'm self concious too and half low self esteem. But step by step you make little changes and your confidence builds up. I cut of all my natural hair to leave 2 inches of natural curly hair. I was freaked out and worried what everyone would think! Then you realize how stupid you are for wasting so much time on what OTHER people think when you go to your friends and they'll tell you you look great. It helps. And even if you feel like crap, worring what everyone is thinking, you just keep your head up high and strut your stuff. That's what I do! Then everyone wills top and stare at your sheer utter confidnece. That's what I think. I'm, still transforming myself into a gal. But I think step by step you build confidence by the way then...you just don't give a crap what people think because you know you are the hawtest thing in the world. :3 If I can try, you can most fed try because your graduating from high school. In college, nobody really cares. you do you. The best of you. Afterall, you are my inspiration,t here aren't many black, let alone Nigerian gals out there. We got to stick together ^O^
    :D
    iamazonangel.blogspot.com

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  2. omgosh I almost cried after reading that T^T lol I hear you on everything you're saying. Thankfully to this post, a lot of people have been giving me support which I did not think would happen O.O I've learned that some of the friends I have are actually willing to be on this journey to gyaru along with me. It's crazy how all this time I never really brought it up to them and the second I do I learn that we all have the same interest in this so maybe I won't be completely alone in this after all :D Thank you so much for your support Ivie! & I will definitely keep trying to be more confident in everything I do. That story about those 3 lolitas you saw was so motivational and inspiring! Makes me wanna put my wig on and walk the streets loud and proud without a care in the world! Haha! Anyway, you're awesome *hugs* Thank you x 100000000 :D

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  3. Your welcome! Best of luck to you! I'm going to try to! :3

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  4. I agree with the above poster. Confidence can really make a difference in how people view you. And struggling with your own confidence and self-worth is something that many people go through so you aren`t alone. Those who rock their looks best are those people who are comfortable, know they look good, and like the way they look.

    I wish you the best of luck in this.

    Also, I think your post is very inspiring in a way because definitely there are other people who are like you but may even be afraid to express themselves like you have.

    I am linking this post in my Weekly Wrapup. Thanks for being so honest!

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  5. Ivie is SO RIGHT!!
    Now you're feeling embarassed, but if you don't pull it off and go out with your gyaru coords (even though you're completely sure that you like it and that it's the right fashion style for you) you'll regret it SO much later on... people always stare when someone looks "different" than them. some people will make fun of you. other will look at you and secretly admire you for being able to dress the way YOU want to dress.
    Try toning down a gyaru outfit and wear it as a "cutie outfit" and go out, then you can always add more eyecatching details and in the end you'll have the confidence to go out in full gyaru ^^ (example: I wore my false eyelashes out in a super casual outfit and I felt comfortable in it ^^)
    And dont' forget your MP3 player! Even if you hear other pple's remarks you have a reason to ignore them! It would also be cool if you had some friend or relative who will accompany you^^
    I dress in lolita and I used to go buying groceries with my bf in our local grocery store... those were my first "outings". Now I have the confidence to go to our main shopping street in lolita (alone!).
    Don't give up or you'll regret it later! Live your life! ^_^

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  6. Hey I found ur post from Findin Tokyo and I do encounter similar problems in my country. However, one day I simply steeled myslef and have otld myself ever since that you only live life once, and if you constantly worry what other people think, that's not really living at all!

    So I developed a pretty thick skin and just throw caution to the wind and dress wadever way I want. I used to get mocked by some bitchy girls but the ironic part was some of them eventually started to dress in similar styles too when Taiwan and Hong Kong picked up Japanese influences so they had to clam their mouths shut.

    Anyway if it makes you feel any better, I'm suffering from eczema which leave me with huge open wounds all over my limbs so people also stare at my wounds constantly but I've learnt to let it go.

    Best of luck to finding ur self-confidence! It takes alot of self-belief but once you reach there, its really nice...

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  7. I think I have the same problem as you. Noone around me even knows about gyarus so...I don't think they'll understand how I feel in this way.
    Don't worry, I don't think you are a coward ^^

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  8. You are adorable! I can't see what anyone would make fun of you about, but I can relate to feeling nervous sometimes before I go out. I've never had anyone say anything to me though, so I think most people don't actually care :P

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  9. I don't think you are a coward at all... When people say : "Ignore what people think of you" it's easier said the done. Everyone cares in a certain way about what other people think of them. I guess you just have to learn what kind of opinion and most importantly from whom does it matter. That's when you can become more confident, because, let's face it, you're utterly beautiful =)

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  10. All of you are heaven sent, I swear! lol I don't even know how I can say thank you enough for your kind words. They really reached out to me, believe it or not! I plan on taking your advice and becoming a more confident person. It'll take me time but I know I can do it with the support of you all :D Thank you again and I will keep my progress posted!

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  11. I used to have this same problem, but i now go out in public with unique make-up styles, harajuku/decora wear, or visual kei wear. I even go out in public with my kigurumi on ^^
    I just feel like if the people are staring then its cuz im interesting and unique, and i now have their attention. I dont go out seeking for their attention though. I just do it because its fun for me. Even if they were to come up to me and badmouth my attire i wouldnt care because its what i want to do. I didnt pick my outfit to please the masses, just to please myself ^_^
    I do agree that your own confidence in what you do can make other people see that you are a unique and interesting individual <3

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  12. I happened to stumble across a link to your blog (and hence this post) while paging through Sara Mari's "Fashion Hime Friday" features. I wanted to leave you a comment to tell you that I think you're very brave for just going for it and becoming gyaru.

    For us young women of color, I definitely think we have to try a bit harder as far as gyaru goes. But I agree with the lovely commenters before me that you can rock whatever style you want as long as you have confidence. If you feel hot & gyaru, then you will *be* hot & gyaru. People really will say "Wow, you look great" when they see that you love the way you look.

    I myself have an issue to becoming gal; I'm significantly overweight (even though it's not completely obvious, I'm told), but I'm still going to try and become more gal as I lose weight.

    Anyway, I guess what I really mean is that I hope you'll become confident in being gyaru and not give up! You really are an inspiration to us Black gyaru, and very pretty to boot! So have confidence, okay? ^o^v

    P.S. College is a *wonderful* place to find your own style, so I hope you can take advantage of that!

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