May 16, 2014

History With Asian Guys (EMBARRSSING STORY~)

If you haven't already watched the video version of this post, view it down below for a TL:DR version even though it's nearly 12 minutes long!
Why am I making such a funky topic for a blog post? For one thing, it will hopefully give some of my readers a good laugh at the pathetic behavior I used to have when I wanted to date Asian guys. Another reason is to show others about how silly we can be when we restrict our dating preferences to a single race because of how much of a particular pop culture enthusiast we may be. And lastly, to share some history on the person I used to be when I was at my most immature phase of my teeny bopper life. Please understand from here on out that I was an insanely boy-crazy hopeless romantic loving girl who could have seriously ended up in a lot of trouble if it weren't for my hideous pre-puberal appearance. So with that said, allow me to me begin.

Asian guys weren't always favorable to my dating interests. In all honesty, I was absolutely certain they were the ugliest kind of looking male on the planet. When I was in elementary school, I remember only knowing a handful of Asian kids because we lived in North Dallas throughout the 90s to early thousands. Most of them were not very kind to me, my sister or my friends. But there was this one Laotian guy who looked like a thug, but I found tremendously attractive. Thankfully, nothing came from that considering he was supposedly a gang member and was significantly older than me. Nigerian parents typically do not allow their daughters to date, especially when they barely even hit puberty! He eventually moved away or got thrown in jail...or something. You can say the reason I fell for him versus the other Asian boys was because of how urbanized he was which as a result made him more relatable to me. I was substantially  influenced by the people I grew up around so typically, I would daydream about dating black or Hispanic boys to appease my preference. Boys from the hood were my primary taste in what I liked in a guy which would make him my first Asian crush. I know I was rather young, but c’mon. Kids have silly crushes on others all the time so please don't judge too harshly here!

Middle school came along and this is when one of the biggests changes in my life happened. I had a friend Lein who introduced k-pop to me and got me into manga and anime. Here’s a little random fact, but my first bias for k-pop I ever had was Se7en when I watched his MV “Crazy”. You'll understand why if you watch it down below. Dat face at 0:23 OHSWEETHEAVENS!
Soon after that, all I did was watch Asian drama after Asian drama. I grew accustomed to constantly searching new k-pop/j-rock artists and fawning over the quintessential sexy ulzzang I would find on farpop or myspace. My only thoughts when browsing through all of these pages can be most similar to the following meme:
This was also the beginning of my embarrassing “Otaku” phase, but I will leave that topic for another post. Why was I such a lame kid?!

My middle school was yet again populated with a majority of African and Latino Americans. If I'm not mistaken, literally 1-2% were white, Asian and other. At this point, I told myself I would wait until I got to high school after friends told me there would be a greater diversity of races where I was going. 

Fast forwarding to high school! Oh good ol’ high school. I was so glad to leave my middle school to find new friends, experience new things and what’s that? You guessed it. I wanted to snag myself a hot Asian boy who closest resembled someone straight out a J-rock MV!

Terrible. Just terrible.

Seeing how so many Asian guys walked the hallways of my school made the thirst even stronger in me...I very well related with Snape.
Let’s start with Asian guy number 1, James. Notice how I didn't bother concealing his name? Mainly because I doubt they'd bother keeping up with my online endeavours. I also do not care about what any of them think of me unlike back then however I am not going to reveal their full identities. Back to the story, James was this tall lanky looking Korean dude I remember seeing in school occasionally especially when classes let out for the day. At the time, he was a hunk to me. I told all of my friends how badly I wanted to get with him and would be "depressed" if I didn't get a chance to see him at school. One day, I finally had the courage to send him a message on Myspace. Do you wanna know what that message said? Do you really wanna know?

This is probably one of the most embarrassing secrets I have ever admitted online but my dehydrated ass asked him if he liked anime. Because you know...all Asians on this planet know and love anime, smmfh. James replies with a response along the lines of not really, I’m not into it that kind of stuff. Wait, there’s more! I had the audacity to go as far to ask him why? He simply “haha’d” and said he didn't get it and my mind was blown into smithereens.SMITHEREENS I TELL YOU! I was thinking what kind of logic is this? Is there a flaw in his Asian brain, how could he not like anime? It should be in his genes!! I kid you guys not…these questions were practically spewing out of my skull because of how much of a clusterfuck this was to me. But more so because of how racist I was being without even realizing it.

Although that was a disappointment to learn, I still admitted my feelings to him and got rejected. Yeah, big surprise there! So that was that. Then there was guy number 2! Jimmy. Jimmy was always a jerk off so I never really got the chance to really tell him how I felt directly, but I damn sure told my friends to dig up dirt on him. I pissed off his friend too by constantly bugging her to ask him how he felt about me until I finally learned that he was interested in another girl. Even after accepting the fact that we weren't going to happen, he was such a major douche to me throughout high school. Some guys with childish tendencies like to pick on the girls who show interest in them but I never learned why that was in psychology courses. If anyone knows, I'm pretty curious to understand that mentality. Granted of course I was in his business but even looking back on it, I don't think there was any reason for him to be so arrogant when his face looked like a swollen all the time but I digress.
Not entirely relevant to my story but I remember shipping them so hard when the show Fast Forward premiered even though their chemistry on screen unfortunately wasn't quite believable enough to me.
There was also a few other guys I liked from afar but because I screwed up so bad with guy number 1 (James), I am without a single doubt positive that he ran to all of his Asian guy friends to warn them about me being bat shit cray cray. It’s what I deserved for being so damn dumb. I eventually dated non-Asian guys and found more interest in them after letting my racial preferences down and was much better off that way. Eventually, I realized how foolish I was after getting used to being around other races and quit stereotyping all Asian guys like I used to. From then on, I felt better about my reasons for why I found a guy attractive. It was always based off of who they were, and not solely because they kind of resembled Gackt or Lee Jun Ki. I went to college and started to get hit on by a couple of Asian guys but did I jump to the chance to get with them only to throw all of what I previously learned out the window? Hell no! They didn't meet my standards and that's what I never established before. With standards accompanies self-confidence and I realized that was needed to be acquired before even thinking about dating.

You guys already know about the story on how I found my boyfriend so there’s no need to re-tell that tale. Hell, he doesn't even like anime so that is a perfect example on why you shouldn't stereotype Asian guys like that. No but seriously, he doesn't even want to get into AoT and I know a lot of non-anime fans who LOVE that series so there you go. In conclusion, please learn from the embarrassing mistakes I made if I sound at all like you younger readers in middle school or high school so you don't screw up like I have.


Love yourself first, know your worth, love all races for the beauty inside and out and you will be certain to have an easier time finding your partner in crime. That's not to say you NEED one though. Till next time!
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11 comments :

  1. "Love yourself first, know your worth, love all races for the beauty inside and out and you will be certain to have an easier time finding your partner in crime. That's not to say you NEED one though."
    AMEN! That's completely truth!!
    When I was sooooooooooo young i thought like you but with the years you mature, you know more the life and all the kind of people, and you learn to love one person for who he/she are...yeah, You can have preferences but when you find the indicated person...Nothing matters.

    Much love pretty!!!! <3 <3

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  2. Love this post! I was pretty much dehydrated with thirst when I was living in New York. Even joined a meet up group for ambw. That was 3 years ago. Now I've realized I'm attracted to Asians because I think small eyes are beautiful. Looking back, I was also attracted with white and black men with small eyes too lol! I am around Asian men a lot and by all means, and I definitely do not have that thirst anymore. They act just like other men do. I mean now I can see myself with an Asian man in the future, but I definitely developed high standards for all guys.

    So girls out there who are thirsting, it is okay! You will make mistakes and ultimately learn that they are blessings in disguise. Just like Lovelyfly and I.

    Peace & Love

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  3. I think it's awesome that you were comfortable enough to talk about this. I know some people are ashamed to talk about things like this. I already thought you were an awesome person and had respect for you, but now I have even more because you just showed so much wisdom by being able to talk about things that you've learned. I think to some extent we all do super silly and ignorant things during that age especially when it comes to dating. The thirst is real haha I had my moments, too ^^


    And I def feel you on not having much diversity growing. I'm from the south (Alabama), so there were only blacks and whites at my school. We had a really small amount of Hispanics, and I think there was like 4 Asian kids total. Then I went to a college that was predominately white and female, so dating was pretty much non-exist. It's interesting because I was pegged to be the one to marry a white boy by my family because some view me as "weird" (because of my interests haha) even though I am an equal opportunity dater. Sorry this got long, but I just wanted to share a little since you were awesome enough to do so! Thank you for being real ^-^

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  4. Ha this is a funny post! I think every girl goes through some kind of silly guy phase growing up.

    I think diversity when it comes to dating is a good thing. Even though I grew up in pretty racially homogenous surroundings (predominately black) I have always preferred friends and men from other ethic/racial groups, much to the dismay of my family and others around me, but oh well!

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  5. this is perfect! thanks for this! I, like you used to think that all Asians liked anime until I learned the hard way lol

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  6. It's true, I really cannot tell you how often I've witness others say they want a girl/guy look like this, do this, BE this but then they find their match and throw so much of those preferences out of the window because their love for them is stronger than shallow minded attributes not associated with that person. Glad you like it!!

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  7. " I definitely developed high standards for all guys."
    ^THIS right here! I never was as harsh with Asian guys as I was with other races because of how desperate I was to get one. So sad...what you say is right. All men of any race are pretty similar especially if we're just referring to American cultured men of different backgrounds.


    Thank you for adding your words of wisdom miss Sanaa!

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  8. Girl I know I was so close to nearly deleting all the clips I filmed for this because of what others would think of me but now I don't regret it ^ ^ Thank you so much for being understanding of my intention. I will make more like it once I am requested with more subjects to cover I can relate with.


    I think it's great that you date people of all races! I myself am a major advocate for that and I've also gotten the assumption that I would most likely date outside of my race because of my "weirdness" lol but what our families don't seem to understand is there are so many "weird" black folk just like us joining these interests every single day! I sort of always wanted to get with another black guy who had sick J-fashion or alternative fashion but they were usually only accessible through Facebook or Myspace and had a strict preference for girls who weren't black so that preference was short-lived. I do like that more people think the way we do about dating because things seem to be more about the person than anything else and that's what it really should come down to anyway.

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  9. Haha interesting! I wonder what made things different between you and I since I too grew up in a predominately black enviroment. Now that I think about it, my childhood girlfriends must have had a lot to do with it lol we were ALL super boy crazy lol so silly. But yeah it's always fun to re-tell these moments in our lives just for fun!

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  10. Aww no problem at all, I like sharing my stories no matter how awkward they may be! I hope the way you learned wasn't too terrible! But at least it made you more aware of this for future reference hehe ^ ^ Glad you liked the story!

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  11. You were so brave to talk about this i went through this too (thought i was the only one) I used to be really similar i was obsessed with Asian guys, to a point it didn't matter how they looked liked , i giggled none stop when they looked in my direction , even fell down the stairs even had my own song for them i was crazy. I changed now i see beauty in all races but still find Asian guys attractive (its those eyes *heart melts) Im in a AMBW relationship been together for 4 years now but known him for 6 years


    Im so happy you did a video on this all my friends literally thought i was the only black gal who was attracted to them hehe


    btw that purple ombre is to cute ♥

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